I’m going to be brutally honest. I want to claim that writing hasn’t happened due to being to busy, but I that isn’t entirely true. I mean, I’ve had the time to binge watch a number of seasons of streaming TV so clearly the time is there somewhere.
But why have I not made the progress I want to make if I’ve had the time to do so?
I think part of the answer to that may be fear. I know that, not always that deep down, I have a lot of insecurity about my abilities. Not just in writing, but writing is the thing I’m focusing on just now. See, if I use the excuse of “not enough time” (or whatever excuse might be handy in the moment) then I don’t have to look further into the reasons I haven’t been dedicating my time and energy to writing.
When, really, part of the reason is fear. What if I give my all, dedicate all my efforts and energy into the writing projects and then, when I put them in the hands of another I discover that I am NOT actually a good writer? Then what?
I know this fear is silly. I have been given enough evidence that should support me being a writer – all evidence points to it being within my capabilities but… that doesn’t quiet the fear. And I’m not entirely sure how to push through it. It’s frustrating to know you want to do something, but not having the courage to push through the convenient excuses in order to make it happen.
This is my monthly post as part of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, a great group of supportive writers, helping one another through our writing ups-and-downs.
There is also a great Facebook Community for more daily connection! More posts from the group are tagged on Twitter at #IWSG.