Today’s post is a part of the Weekend Coffee Share, graciously hosted by Part Time Monster every weekend. A time for us to come together, share a cup of coffee (or our beverage of choice) to share some of what is going on in our lives. It’s a lovely check-in!
If we were having coffee I would tell you that my weekend plans were, ultimately, decided by a bag of Bobs Red Mill Gluten Free Pizza dough.
Friday, very early in the morning I discovered that, when stepped on, the mix inside can get some good distance to it, exploding out of both ends of the packaging.
Also, it’s quite fine flour, which is good at sticking to clothing, getting under furniture and books, and probably would be fun to add to a toddler’s sensory table.
I had been struggling with what to do: my original plans had been for a long weekend with very little activity — including two days that were mostly devoted to “me” time. Writing, reading, and cleaning were high on the list of things that needed to be done, along with sleeping more and just relaxing. This introvert has been pushing herself with an awful lot of social time lately.
But, then friends and family started to invite me out, events were planned that I was invited to and I faced decisions. That’s where I stood Thursday night, trying to figure out what to do, how to balance what I wanted to do…. I wanted to go spend time with friends and family, but I also wanted to have alone time, make progress on my writing projects, and get this room cleaned up. There were other things tossing through my mind that made it hard to sleep Thursday night (also, it was hot… it’s been very hot here). I was up way too late tossing thoughts around in my head and fighting aside anxiety about inconsequential things.
Then, Friday morning, well before I had to be awake on this day off, I stumbled my way down the hall to the bathroom and suddenly the world exploded under my feet. “The world” being a bag of Pizza Dough Mix that had fallen off of it’s carefully (or, maybe not so carefully and not so) balanced pile.
I take it as a sign… at least, I joke that the fine flour scattering itself under my books and into my closet is a sign. The reality is that my reaction was a sign. A quick look around my living and working space shows piles of clothes and other things. A pantry that got emptied because of the very persistent and annoying ants, but never put back together. Books that were pulled off shelves for one reason or another and never returned. The clothing pile which, normally a beast of it’s own, has kind of become epic. Stacks of miscellaneous papers waiting to be sorted and put away…. it’s a flat out mess.
I have been going non-stop, between work and social-things and writing. That means life has tumbled into a chaos state — a room that contributes to anxiety and the sense that I’m always behind. A room where a package of flour mix can fall right into my path unnoticed until it explodes in early celebration of Independence Day, leaving me with a sudden sense that it’s all too much and there’s no way I can complete all I intend to complete. Making me want to curl up in bed and hide from everything (and I mean everything, even the fun reading I want to do).
Which is a sure sign that I need to give myself the weekend as I had originally intended. Friday I went to breakfast with my mom, then went on a “art date” with my big brother. It was fun to sit with him in the coffee shop that started my coffee addiction while he drew and I typed away at the novel. Then I did more writing at home, paid some bills, and went to a neighborhood potluck.
Saturday I plan to eat some of the fancy cheeses I bought the other day, maybe open a bottle of wine, and relax. I’ll chat with my best friend in the morning, spend some time meandering around all the great coffee-posts, clean a little, and then settle in to write a few blog posts and work more on the novel. Cleaning, cooking, laundry will all happen on Sunday. My pace, my time, the freedom to change my plans in an instant if I want to. That’s what I need, so that’s what I’m going to do.
July is going to be a very busy month, so I’m happy I do have this opportunity to relax a little bit before everything takes off.
I’d also tell you that I’m looking forward (but also with a little trepidation) to my next Taliana event. Depending on how it goes it may be the last for a while….
But I’ve rambled on, how about you? What are your plans for the weekend?