December was a month that saw very little writing on my part. I had these grand plans for the month, I was going to get so much writing done, do some plotting for future editing, things like that.
But December did not go as I planned. Almost no writing got done. Absolutely no blog-formatting got done. Nearly no reading got done.
I’ll admit, I spent a bit of time beating myself up about that all. I’ve told myself that I should have pushed, that I should have written even if it was a struggle, that I needed to write, that even if I wasn’t writing at least I could have looked at the layout of Disparate Threads, or revisited the outline of my novel-draft, or read more books. Something.
But I didn’t. I hung out with friends some, and watched entirely too many shows on Netflix. I did a little bit of cleaning, and a fair amount of sleeping. There was work at the day job in there too, of course. And I did make some Christmas gifts.
Still, I was beating myself up for not writing. I wondered if I had been just fooling myself about being able to do “this writing thing.” I had moments of wanting to think of myself as a failure — but something held me back from giving over entirely to that thought.
As I start to ease back into the writing work that I had intended to do in December, I realize something very important. I needed to give myself that break — it wasn’t failure, rather self-care. Yes, sometimes there is a need to push yourself to keep going, even if you don’t feel like it, but sometimes it’s also important to allow yourself room to take a breath. Giving myself permission to allow the space to not write helps me as I step back into my writing now. A break does not mean failure. Sometimes, a break is needed in order to refresh, recharge, and be able to keep going.
Yes, I’ve told myself this before, but apparently I need to be told it again.
This month we were invited to write a little Introduction about ourselves – so I’ll take a brief moment to do so. There’s also plenty of “who am I?” pondering and rambling in my About Me page.
I’m Allison, and I hate writing bio’s and “about me” posts… I’m just bad at introducing myself. I’m a writer, and technically a published author and poet, though the published piece isn’t something I mention often because I still feel like a fake in that regard in some ways. I have an MA in Religion, a BA in History, and ponder going on for another Masters (in Public History) and maybe even a Doctorate. But for now I am focusing on keeping up at my pay-the-bills-job, and juggling my blogging and fiction writing in order to get an actual, functional, draft of my first novel done by the fall of 2015 (self-set goal). Also, I endeavor to stop using “and” and “but” at the start of so many of my sentences.
This is my monthly post as part of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, a great group of supportive writers, helping one another through our writing ups-and-downs.
There is also a great Facebook Community for more daily connection! More posts from the group are tagged on Twitter at #IWSG.
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